The halfway mark was yesterday. I think my stomach may be slowly imploding and/or devolving into a black hole of some sort. In order to attempt to supplement my dire need for crunchy things, I've turned to celery, which isn't nearly as salty or as tasty as Mr. Lay, but I thought I'd give him a chance.
Celery and I have known each other from near infancy. Or rather, my near infancy; he's much, much older than me, but I've been told that he's really quite a catch so I'm trying not to mind. After all, he's tall, slim, has a bunch of friends (which really speaks well of him, I must say), and has very strong fiber of being. A true gent with undeniable freshness.
He's not nearly as fun as Mr. Lay, though. He doesn't dress as nicely. His hair is always askew. Many times he's rather dirty. It takes some work to really make him enjoyable. Is he really worth the effort? I'm sure all the doctors and fitness trainers are nodding their heads "yes", but I am no physician. Mr. Lay comes ready to go, and, most of the time, I don't want to take all the steps necessary to make Celery edible. I have to wash him. Come on. Isn't that something you do after you've been married all of your life and the other partner can't do it anymore? Isn't our relationship a little premature to involve sponge baths at this point?
No matter the way I slice it, poor Celery can't seem to measure up. Celery fries, Celery cubes, Celery...celery sticks. He tries to spice things up with peanut butter, but honestly, it's just not doing it for me. Geez. Mr. Lay comes in barbecue. Sour cream and cheddar. He can be wavy OR un-wavy. Celery is just... a crunchy stick. It's not his fault. He was just born that way. I just hope he doesn't end up stalking me after all of this is over.
Only two more weeks, Mr. Lay! Two more weeks of this painful separation, and then... the rest of our lives.
Science is for those bold of heart!
Height: a rather dashing 5'0".
Weight: a delicious 124 lbs of cupcakian wonder.
Yes, I said "cupcakian". I just made it up this very moment. I'm assuming it is one who either is or is among the cupcakes. Your challenge is to use it tomorrow in everyday conversation. i.e.: "My word! That purse is so very cupcakian! Wherever did you get it?"
Ever so pleased to expand your vocabulary,
Rini
i made the mistake of reading this is class and now i can't stop giggling.
ReplyDeletei am not very cupcakian this morning, maybe more bagelian. (cuz i just ate a bagel)
actually comparing a bagel to a cupcake is rather like comparing celery to chips. they just don't quite make it, do they?
No. They sure don't. Unless you really want a bagel instead of a cupcake. I would think that cupcakes are much more fun to be around. They look like they know how to party. Bagels look like they'd work long, hard hours at Barnes and Nobles and feel rather unfulfilled. I love bagels and BnN, mind you, but I can see how they are just not living to their full potential. The bagels, that is. Maybe cream cheese is the answer.
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