It's day five, people. I was doing rather well today: slept in (it's my day off! :D), had apple cider and a pumpkin donut for breakfast - the way all true Autumn champions do, played around on Facebook, checked email, played some games on the computer, played around on Facebook some more... you know the drill.
I know you're in glassy-eyed awe at the excitement of the events of my day that I have so elaborately elaborated. I'll take the action down from Bruce Willis level to Nicolas Cage, where you can handle it better. Yes, that is my way of telling you that I too can take out helicopters with flying cars.
So, I was going about my day, just drying some dishes, certainly not thinking about potatoes at all, when it happened. A blow that struck my heart the way a mutant rabbit strikes a cabbage stand. What do I hear in the background as I innocently towel my flatware? THIS:
What horrible hand of fate has dared place this child before me? What potato prophet is he to bring me word of their origin in such an adorable slur? BOB EVANS, how DARE you taunt me with your delicious witchcraft! My microwave longs to warm your mashed potatoes the way that I long for the revenge upon you to be swift for ever tempting me with this cherubic commercial!!
And then I just wanted to eat a lot of potatoes. Okay, not just "eat". I'm talking about the way Gaston just swallows eggs in Beauty and the Beast. I just want to throw like eight of them in the air and gulp them down whole. I want to devour them. Oh, Mr. Lay, how I need you now!
After I recovered from the commercial, my mom and I had a movie night and went to see Megamind in 3D. Where they showed advertisements for 5 Guys Burgers and Fries. And Graffiti Burger who "has the best hand-cut fries ever", or something like that.
As far as I'm concerned, there's some conspiracy brewing in the Advertisers of America against my commitment to forgo Mr. Lay and his friends. Some sort of Spud Nazis are rallying for my failure, I tell you, trying to bend my subconscious to their potato-y will! Yes, potato-y will. It's a word now.
Rational thought tells me this paranoia is a symptom of withdrawal, but you and I both know that it's true. The Spud Nazis are after us all.
Back to the science!
Height: a massive 5'0" of brilliance.
Weight: 126 lbs of majesty.
I think this is going well, don't you?
*dear lord, I'm going to die*
Almost the brightest crayon in your box,
Rini
since you are doing so well at keeping up a post a day, i shall keep up my comment a day.
ReplyDeletei too notice that when i am trying NOT to think of something it comes up EVERYWHERE! in books, on t.v. on the radio. it's ridiculous.
I know. It's insane. That child will haunt my dreams for the next 25 days. Maybe after that too. Who knows. O.o
ReplyDeleteHave i told you lately how much a adore you! lol I have newfound respect for you rini... you can defeat the spud nazis!! at least til Dec. 1st lol Awesomeness!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Erin! :D Your words of hope will help carry me through to the end! Spudler and his Nazi spud minions will stand no chance.
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